Mike the Narrator: "Once upon a time in a city not too far from your own there lived a..."

(screeching noise)

Lady Robinpool: "Wait, wait, wait! If anyone is going to tell MY origin story, it's gonna be ME! Now go away, Mikey. Go on! Shoo! I've got this!"

Mike the Narrator grumbles as he is pushed out the door: "Woke me up at 6 in the morning for this crap...just to get kicked out! Liefeld is going to hear from me!"

Lady Robinpool dismissively waves a hand at Mike the Narrator's retreating back: "Yeah, yeah, you know I'm your favorite. Okay, so now where were we? Oh right! Talking about me! Let's continue!"

(screeching noise rewinds and goes back)

Lady Robinpool: "So this is me. Lady Robinpool." (snickering occurs in the background) "Er, hold on a second..."

(Lady Robinpool walks back out of the room where you hear lots of screaming and punching sounds and...is that a chainsaw?! Then silence. Lady Robinpool walks back in with blood all over her clothes and mask and resumes her narration.)

Lady Robinpool: "Okay, so now as I was saying, that's me as a baby crying behind that dumpster. I know..I was a cute kid right? Well, take a closer look."

(Camera zooms in to see the baby is covered in grotesque scarring and blood marks that seem to heal and then reopen every few minutes.)

(The audience gasps.)

Lady Robinpool: "I know right? Looks like Jeff Goldblum's fly-baby coughed up it's ugly twin. Oh, well, the thing is, I was born horribly disfigured and my parents were so disgusted with me and didn't know what to do about it. See, I have a rapidly healing body, but due to the fact that I was born with a certain disease of some unknown sort that isn't curable by any means blah, blah, blah, I keep healing, but it keeps coming back. So they literally threw me away."

"I had to survive mostly on my own. The only time I didn't was because an old blind man named Blind Albertson took me in. Even he couldn't take me for more than two years though. Even as a kid I was annoying as hell. Being raised alone like that, jumping from place to place, wasn't easy on me. I developed a stutter. I was a nervous wreck when talking to people and always trying to lighten the mood with a joke or two. Most times inappropriately and poorly timed. Like at a funeral, or when someone literally just died."

"But living on the streets like I did I was able to survive. And I became quite good at acrobatics, jumping from building to building, and learning parkour. I also became quite good at defending myself. Eventually I earned myself a reputation as a skilled fighter and did a little light assassination for hire. But only for the good guys! The bad guys were always showing me how corrupt people could be and how never to trust them. Trust me, I've worked a couple of bad guy jobs, and boyyyyy lemmee tell you! It almost always ends up in a double-cross and I have to kill a few people just to get out alive!"

"So after that I just stick with working for the good guys only. It's a strict zero tolerance, won't bend in any way policy. I ended up meeting some chick in a wheelchair named Fibre. She's like a super fan or something so I let her do stuff for me. She's constantly talking to me in my ear giving me info on my current mission and stuff. Like who does she think I am? Batman?? No, wait...wrong universe. Or is it? So anyways she's the one who came up with this bitchin' outfit! It's sick! And it helps heal my pain that I'm constantly feeling, has some sort of green goo that releases when I sense pain and makes my whole body numb. Mmmmm...it feels the best!"

"Oh yeah, I do have one enemy that I hate more than anything. Vanquisher or as he refers to himself, The Main Champion. He thinks he is SO much better at killing than me. But I tricked him into losing to me at Tic Tac Toe and he kinda went crazy and tried to kill me. Talk about being a party pooper, right? Ever since then he's been showing up randomly trying to kill me and it just makes me hate him even more. What's worse is he's like a cosmic unkillable god or something. Nothing I do hurts him! But last time I saw him I think I got rid of him for good tho. I sent him to a mirror realm after I jumped through a portal to a weird universe and stole...er, I mean borrowed a shiny golden glove with pretty rainbow colored gems on it and just poof! He went away with a snap!"

"Well, anyways, I have lots of weird adventures like that. More to come! Follow me on Instagram!"

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Regenerative Healing Factor:

Her healing ability is so advanced and amazing (aw, thanks!) (you're welcome.) it has granted her the following abilities:

Disease Immunity

Foreign Chemical Resistance

Superhuman Agility - Superhuman Reflexes - Superhuman Stamina

Telepathic Immunity

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Acrobatics - Artistry

Computer Hacking

Escapology

Investigation

Martial Arts - Music

Sewing - Stealth

Tactical Analysis - Throwing

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Lady Robinpool Costume: Fibre designed a new costume for Lady Robinpool which is armored and insulated against ballistic, flame, and electrical attacks. Lady Robinpool's suit carriers a wireless relay within her mask in order to keep her in contact with Fibre. The suit also allows Fibre to monitor Lady Robinpool's vital signs.

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Weapons

Two Katanas

One Hand Gun

Gumption

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Annoying: Lady Robinpool's mental state has also proven to make her a very irritating person to be around. Many heroes often find themselves at wits end around her; this makes for poor ability to cooperate with her in team efforts.

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Trivia

(Physical Features/Speaking Voice/Likely Vocabulary/Characteristics/Mannerisms)

Yes, Lady Robinpool can break the Fourth Wall. Yes, that means she can hear you laugh at her name. Yes, she is about to reach through this screen and punch you in the face if you don't stop laughing.

Lady Robinpool really does have an Instagram account, and once she gets a new camera she'll be posting more. Give her a Follow!